The beast within own mind

The thought spreads withing my mind....my body....it boils my blood, it makes me feel like never before...

...powerful.

I meant nothing, no matter what I did- I've got forgotten....

I have fallen into the darkness and abyss, I couldn't breath or see any light,
because everyone wanted me to hide under their feet, under their words.

I been hidden within such cave of forgiveness, but not I'll come out and will never be the same.
I won't stay like this, forgotten, ignored, unable to reach my own rights.

I live,

I do matter.

They do not see, so I will SHOW them.

They do not feel me, so they WILL feel me

My breath

My claws

My saliva dropping onto their bodies....

They'll all beg for mercy

and I... 
will say
.
.
.
NO, BECAUSE I SAID SO!
You will give me what I want!


- - -
It's a vent art, because somehow life has been stressful to me, mainly because I couldn't deal with some thoughts
that always haunted me, but I'm just learning about myself and understanding how to give the best out of it;

If you will ask me "is that random you drew a Gumshoos?"
my answer will be: of course not!

I have not revealed yet OC I'm working on- Aiden the criminologist Gumshoos who had a harsh childhood
and got too much negative thoughts in his mind....which haunt him at times.

Here's a song I could associate with this artwork:

--Red: break me down--

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCRIzU…

It's because always when out of control or doing something bad/ wrong, Aiden could get slapped
of scratched when young, so when he will be aware of his madness, he will simply visualize the moment when someone
will try to stand againist him, he will know that he will smirk, reach his knife and say

"Try to break me down, I will break your bones and listen to the sounds they make!"

....or is it just his nightmare?

Somehow I'm inspired by professor Stein from Soul Eater when thinking about the direction I'll take with Aiden...
..at first I thought those demonic eyes I drew were straightforward taken from prof. Stein "madness incoming" moments,
but while drawing I just realized WHY I love them;

They're like wounds, opening and bleeding again, while they shoud just get cured...they're the eyes looking at the World from the wrong place,
because the eyes should be in eye sockets- such a brilliant metaphor for my Aiden!

He was abused and haven't got "healthy" understanding of relationships and he's an introvert with quirky fascination in corpses, even wondering
about what will happen to his own body after he will die...having policemon Gumshoos Grant as a friend he will often see and think about how many horrible things
happen in the World....

TRIVIA FOR THOSE WHO ARE INTO MY OC's AND POKEMON WORLD:

- I'm always inspired by Pokemon fandom and how they "treat" certain Pokemon; unfortunately there won't be any equivalent of president Trump in my Pokemon World,
but people will be hating/ disgusted at Gumshoos. Grant takes it as a challenge, Aiden too....at the beginning; after some time, Aiden will fall into depression, because he was born
as Gumshoos, he can do nothing with the fact what species he is

- both could get such difficult job thanks to being great listeners; after reading lots of zoology stuff, I know Gumshoos eyes with horizontal pupils aren't seeing as sharp
as humans, so to make Pokemon different and unique, I have headcanon that Gumshoos are great listeners if they're not relying too much ont heir sight sense

- Grant the police Gumshoos is kind of an idol for Aiden, because Grant achieved a lot in his life and got zeal for life- something Aiden wants to have too

- Aiden drinks alcohol and wants his body to be studies after his death, because he's obsessed with wondering what will happen to his body after his death;
additinally he enjoys the state of being tipsy- he's more relaxed and faster at thinking, so he doesn't agree with the common belief told him that alcohol is bad to health
-even if, he doesn't care about his health because of his depression

- Aiden....got horrible past before he decided to move to the city and start living with people- he thought it will be an utopia compared to what he experienced in the wild,
but the more he worked and listened to the events happening for real, the more sad he became about dreams "killed" 

- Aiden isn't self-taught criminologist, he got a human partner that decided to teach him and even send on special course, so Gumshoos could become a true criminologist, not just an illegal assistant

-apperance wise, Aiden got less dense "beard" (might be not seen well in this artwork, but that's not the point) and he CUTS HIS OWN FRINGE- it's simply practical to him and he wants to mark his uniquess
____________
art and OC Aiden belongs to me, Marta Kłeczek
Gumshoos as Pokemon belongs to Game Freak